Cat Should Have Got Your Tongue
by lonerism
Summary: Damon's got some tips on Caroline... But Klaus wasn't so willing to listen.


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The bar was almost empty, as it was past midnight and it was also a school night. Only a few people were left in the place, you could even count them with the fingers from only one of your hands. The bartender was busy arranging the bottles of drinks back to their original place, the long day of work had got them messy and out of their supposed order. Klaus was seated in the barstool, tracing the tip of his glass with his fingers. He had come for a drink or two, trying to get away from his nosy younger brother that had been back in town. Kol could be too much to handle most of the time, what with his immature teases and snarky comments.

Klaus closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance as he sensed a presence taking the seat next to his.

"I thought the liquor collection in your grand mansion would be way better than the drinks here."

He opened his eyes and turned to face the speaker, a frown plastered across his face indicating that he was not impressed by the coming of the person. Great. He left home to avoid Kol, but now he had to meet someone nearly, or probably just _as bad _as him.

_**Damon Salvatore.**_

"Good evening, Damon," he greeted the much younger vampire in fake hospitality.

Damon reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, looking at the screen in a flash before putting it back in the pocket.

"It's two o' clock, Klaus," he quipped, "I think _'good morning' _would be a much more proper greeting."

Klaus scoffed and turned back to his drink, choosing to ignore what Damon had just said.

"So," Damon spoke again, dragging out the _'o', _"What brings you here?"

"Obviously I am not here to have a chat with you," Klaus replied venomously.

Damon ran a hand to his chest dramatically and faked a gasp. "Oh wow that hurts," he said, then motioned to the bartender to prepare his drinks. He had been a regular there so the guy knew exactly what he wanted.

"I'm here to avoid my brother," Damon said, shrugging.

Klaus raised his eyebrow, "So do I," he said and then downed his drink in a gulp.

"What a coincidence, huh?"

"Hmm," the original hybrid mumbled, meaning to put the little conversation to a stop. But Damon apparently had another idea.

"So a little birdie told me you have a date coming with our little blonde bombshell?" Damon began, breaking the silence. Klaus could hear the annoying smirk in his voice. Seeing that he got no response from the man sitting beside him (as he was now ordering another drink from the bartender and didn't even turn to look at him), Damon then continued, "May I give you some advice?"

"No, you may not," Klaus said bitterly, glaring at the dark haired Salvatore.

But when _exactly_ did Damon listen to _anyone_?

"In case you're not aware of the fact already; I did score her not so long ago. Just thought you could use some tips on her from the master," Damon kept going, smiling proudly at the fact that he had bang the girl the big bad wolf was pawning over, making him feel like he had actually outrun Klaus. He paused to take a sip of his own drink, and started again,

"First, the next time you're talking to her, make sure you make eye contact. Hold her gaze for more than five seconds. She wants to know that she has your full attention. Really look in her blue orbs, look into her whole soul, strip her off her dress with your eyes…"

Klaus found this tip to be useless as he was sure he had looked Caroline in the eye the last time he was really close to her. But wait…he was in Tyler's body that time. Therefore what Caroline must have seen were Tyler's eyes, not _his_. He tried to remember the other times he and Caroline were close, and realized he had never exactly done what Damon had told him. He stayed quiet, and still refusing to face Damon as the latter kept talking.

"Second," Damon cleared his throat, "Do _not_ ever try to stop her when she's talking. If anything, she would _not_ stop. It would only get _worse." _He cringed at the memory of Caroline kept rambling off about that Twilight crap. "But now I don't think she's still into that stupid series…" he mused, and Klaus narrowed his eyes.

"What series?" he asked, confused.

'_Of course'_, Damon thought. A thousand year old hybrid original would know nothing about the cult called Twilight.

"Uh. Nothing," Damon shook his head, recovering from the memory. "Just remember to never cut her off whenever she's talking, especially when she's talking about something she's obsessed with, or else she would do something dramatic like withdrawing sex. It would've been a big issue to me had compulsion not exist. It wouldn't be a big issue too if you decide to just compel her, but you're whipped, I doubt you'd want to do that to her."

Klaus's grip on his glass tightened. He was not very fond of the way Damon used to treat Caroline. He knew everything. He knew about all the things the bastard had done to Caroline. The moment the blonde beauty caught his eyes he had sent his eyes and his ears everywhere to pry off information on her.

"Why are you telling me all this, Damon?" Klaus asked, finally turning to face Damon.

"Well let's see…" Damon trailed, tapping his chin with his finger pretending to think of something. "I figured if you're too busy with Blondie, you won't have time to even think to kill the whole town again." Klaus snorted.

"Well that is where you're wrong, Damon. You think one girl can just change my whole world?"

Damon shrugged. "Well, Blondie can be _very_ handful…" he smirked, his eyes twinkling as yet another memory hit him, "Oh, yes, she really can keep your hands full…"

He leaned closer to Klaus and half whispered in his ear, "And have I mentioned how _great_ she is in the sack?"

Klaus growled, not liking the way he was talking about Caroline. Damon smirked in return, taking another sip of his drink and then continued,

"Did you know that she lets out these _cute_ whimpers whenever you kiss her jawbone, near her ear? I suggest you to drop light kisses along her jawbone if you want to hear her whimpering in a cute way. And did you know she can do this super _hot_ hips thing?" he asked, as if to mock Klaus. He didn't see the way the original hybrid's face started to turn red, or how the veins beneath his skin were showing slightly. Damon then laughed and said, "Oh! And don't forget those long, _sexy_ legs…I loved to—"

_**Snap.**_

Klaus had had enough. He snapped his neck in impulse, not even bothering to look around and make sure no one saw that. He placed some bills on the counter to pay for his drinks, then walked back to where Damon's body now laid and spared the big mouthed vampire one last glance before he walked out of the bar.

"Should have kept your mouth shut, mate."

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End file.
